I’m a little bit lost, folks. Lately I feel lazy and tired and unmotivated and it just plain sucks. There is an awful lot of work ahead of us and I wish I could just close my eyes, sleep through someone else doing it and wake up to find myself moved out and lying in a king size bed in a bigger house. See what I mean about lazy?
Mike and I are not the DIY type. We don’t get ideas of how to improve our home and just DO IT. We talk about the problems (like a leaky faucet) for a month or more and then sometimes buy supplies to fix the problem. Supplies that then sit in our house unused for another month or more. We find distractions and dive in during that time, avoiding the work that so obviously needs to be done. We watch whole seasons of TV shows on Netflix in the evenings for weeks on end, play games together and apart, make busy with fun things on the weekends and every so often, buckle down to some real work for a day or two. It seems every time we get some momentum going, something unexpected crops up and throws us off. The last time this happened, we painted the hallway, I painted all the top cabinet doors in the kitchen and had started to paint the main part of the cupboards when I realized that someone had used non-paintable caulking to attach a trim piece at the top. Which meant that as I painted the cupboards, the paint beaded up just under the trim. Solution: sand all the caulking off so that the job could be finished. But did I do it? Nope. Put all the supplies away and sat for a month.
I wake up with motivation five mornings of the week and determine to get things done but I haven’t managed to find my groove when it comes to productivity with children in the house. By the time Sam goes down for his nap or the kids are in bed at night, motivation is gone and fatigue has replaced it. I can keep the dishes done, wash and dry the laundry and fold it once a week but the big stuff – all the tasks that lead to putting our house up for sale – just doesn’t get done unless I have someone watch my kids for the day. On those days, I can breathe. I can be productive, pack, clean, get some project done and have a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day when I pick the kids up. Trouble is I only get that a few times a year. The friend who watched them for me earlier in the year went back to work while her kids are in school. It’s not so easy to find someone who is willing to take care of five kids all at once.
So I’m back at trying to find ways to get things done with the kids here. And I have no idea how to do it. You’d think after parenting for eight years, I’d know a few tricks of the trade, but I’m lost.
There it is, pointless confessions that won’t get me anywhere but that I just felt I had to get out there. I’m trying not to entertain self-pity on this one, particularly because I make the choice to sit and NOT work all the time.
Oh, and a side note: please don’t suggest Fly Lady. Been there, done that. Not for me.