Hello, internet. I am taking this quiet moment to write words that I honestly have been meaning to write for some time. Sam and Oliver are sleeping and Mike’s Valentine’s Day gift to me was taking the oldest four out for the afternoon. I swept some of the floor, did the dishes and now I’m going to fill you in on something I’ve been working on.

You’ve heard of New Years Resolutions, right? Right. Well, so have I, but I’ve never been one to make them, except possibly when I was fourteen or fifteen and then I’m guessing that my resolution would have been: Get a boyfriend. Don’t, fifteen year old me, just don’t.

Anyway, in December, someone on Facebook mentioned a new idea – one that I’m sure people have been doing for years but because I live in the great white frozen north where things come five years late, I am just now hearing about it. That would be the tradition of each year having a word. So if you had a rough year in 2014, you might decide to be consciously grateful in 2015, making your word of the year, “Grateful,” or “Thankful.” I didn’t give this idea much thought but then I realized that a word had been coming into my mind even before I heard about the tradition. That word (as you might have guessed by the title) was “Reshape.”

Back in November of 2013, just before I found out about Oliver, I got on the scale and looked down at a pretty big number for not being pregnant. 214 pounds. But amazingly enough, it didn’t phase me. I was happy in my skin, feeling good about myself and I didn’t mind seeing that number. When I found out I was pregnant, I kept feeling good and only gained twenty-five pounds – less than any other pregnancy. I then lost all but two of those pounds in the first three weeks after Oliver was born. Wow. Seriously.

However, some stuff happened, unfortunately, that left me questioning myself and how I felt about who I am, what I weighed, what size I wore, etc. And instead of doing something about it, I just proceeded to feel sorry for myself and gain nine pounds between August and November of 2014. Then I bought an elliptical and I realized that with some daily changes, I could get to where I want to be. My December goal was to use my elliptical every day for a minimum of twenty minutes. As I was pretty out of shape, the first few times were incredibly challenging. I remember feeling like five kilometres was a HUGE deal. Through that month, I got on that thing every single day. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years Eve – I didn’t take a break until the first of January. And I didn’t lose weight but I did manage to maintain my weight, even though I ate loads of amazingly tasty things and a crap-ton of sugar.

This left me at 225 pounds at the start of January. So I started doing what I wasn’t going to do again – calorie counting. And I made new goals. First, a two month weight loss challenge that I participated in two years ago. Three dollars per pound lost in gift certificates from a local sports store. I weighed in on January 7th and will weigh out on March 7th. Second, I decided that for the time being, I will work out six days a week and aim for at least a pound lost each week. I got into a thirty day challenge group on Facebook and started sharing my workouts and losses. We were incredibly sick at the beginning of the month, so I started off the challenge with a bang – seven pounds lost in one week. Today is the end of my thirty day challenge and I am down fifteen pounds and have lost a total of thirteen inches. My jeans are falling off and my comfiest yoga pants are feeling loose. My long term goal is 175 pounds by the end of 2015. This is not thin but would probably put me in a place that would be comfortable to maintain. Because I am building muscle and muscle weighs more than fat, I’m ready to change that goal if necessary. My first goal for the next month is to wear my size fourteen jeans again.

But reshape isn’t just about my weight, it’s about my all over health. My relationships, habits, thought life, etc. all needed an overhaul. So far I’ve been so focused on my fitness and diet goals that I haven’t been incredibly conscious of my other goals, but now that I’ve made lifestyle changes, it is easier to add other things. I don’t have all the answers of how this will look by the end of the year, but I do know that what I’ve done so far feels great.

I do hope that blogging more regularly will be part of the reshaping. I feel rusty in my writing and creating. I miss that part of me and I know that God has a purpose for it.

So there you are. An update for you and possibly more importantly, a motivator for myself for this year.

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