Running on steam

Life is not hard, just full. I am blessed, privileged, provided for. We are healthy and the kids are mostly happy.

But I’m tired. Really tired. And busy enough that I don’t always recognize my fatigue until I sit down. Circumstances have been challenging lately and when I think of those challenges as challenges, I feel a bit spoiled. A broken dishwasher – a dishwasher is a luxury that most of the world does not have. A baby who doesn’t sleep much – I have kids, a bunch of them and I didn’t have to go through any fertility hurdles to conceive them. A house that refuses to stay clean – we have so much stuff and space (more luxury) that contributes to the mess that my children (my blessings) make.

I get to thinking at times that feeling tired and acknowledging it is wrong, so I keep it to myself most of the time and continue to run on steam. Day after day, one month running into the next until it occurred to me that I must be like a steam engine. I just keep going, running on fumes and somehow surviving with no more than a fuzzy feeling in my head plaguing me. I could do without that part but I can function with it so I keep on going.

In reality, I would really appreciate a vacation. Or maybe just a three day nap. 😴

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