Sometimes I have a moment when I want to say something on Facebook but then stop myself because I don’t want to be that kind of Facebook user – the one sharing things about myself that possibly no one really cares about. So I come here – very infrequently – and say it.
Something people may not know about me: I LOVE to sing. Particularly folk, bluegrass, indie, etc. I’ve always loved to sing but I remember thinking I had this incredible voice when I was young and then I heard it recorded and changed my mind. I once told my siblings that if other people heard what I hear in my head, I would be world famous (where’s a good laugh/crying emoticon when you need one?). I sang in choirs and a did a few duets or small group performances as a teenager but since I got married eleven and a half years ago (wow, seriously), I have done two offertories in church with family (that’s the song someone does while the offering is being taken, for those of you unfamiliar with the term) and sang on my sister-in-law’s worship team once. Otherwise, my singing is kept to belting things out while listening to music in my big white van or while I’m doing housework.
At Christmas, I finally splurged and bought a ukulele ($30, yo…that’s a splurge for me). One that won’t stay tuned (insert sad face here). I had all these dreams of learning to play it and writing music and even performing and then it didn’t work. I played guitar as a teenager and even a tiny bit after I got married and then my sister-in-law asked to borrow my guitar and I long-term loaned it to her. That was probably nine years ago and I think we’ve just decided I’m not going to want it back. Except there is this little part of me that does want it back. I want to relearn it, make up songs and play for my kids. But most of all, I want to sing. And for some reason, singing with nothing but a mic in my hand just doesn’t work for me so playing an instrument seems to be the logical solution.
So I have all these thoughts in my head, basically every time I find myself singing harmony to something lovely (this one is on repeat at the moment, and this as well, from the same album). And then reality seems to creep in and remind me of how busy my life is. Even without outside activities, it is busy around here. I am not a big fan of busy but six kids will do that to you and it’s not the worst kind of busyness to tell the truth. Maybe someday I’ll have a bit of extra time lying around to pull out a guitar and strum and sing a little. Perhaps I’ll even have the time to write my own music and maybe I’ll have the guts to share that with other people. Maybe.